Last May, I was wrapping up the school year with my 8th graders and beginning the transition to my new role at Hixson. One of the last events I attended with my 8th graders at my last school was our annual 8th grade day at Six Flags. The 8th grade teachers I worked with had a tradition of eating a homemade lunch in the parking lot. One teacher always grilled up lunch, packed up a table and chairs and set up a picnic of sorts in the parking lot. While we were eating, a car pulled up and parked alongside the curb. A woman got out of her car and asked if we were teachers from Parkway Northeast Middle. There was about a ten second delay before a teacher in the group responded, yes. There was really no way to hide where the group was from as everyone was wearing the class t-shirt with the school name boldly displayed. The woman then launched into her story, sharing that she was standing in a line with her five year old son and a group of teenagers (with their school t-shirts on) were talking excitedly and sprinkling in a colorful assortment of inappropriate words. The woman asked the teens to please stop using the bad words because her young child was with her. In response, one of the teens got an attitude, responded back that she was at Six Flags to have fun and could say whatever she wanted to. The woman explained to the teen that she understood that they were just talking and having fun but just didn't want her young child to hear the words. The teen continued to talk back with an attitude and the woman left the line with her child. The woman was angry and planned on calling the school to report the interaction to an administrator.
As the grade level administrator sitting and listening to the story, my heart dropped. My kids were amazing human beings and this interaction did not necessarily show it.
The woman continued on by sharing that she was heading out of the park with her son when the same teen who argued with her in line found her. The teen approached the woman and the child and asked if she could talk with them. The teen apologized to the woman and child for her language and poor attitude and wanted to repair the harm that she caused. The woman was taken aback and accepted the teen's apology. They talked for a few minutes and the teen shared that they were wrong to use the bad words in front of the young child and understood why she had asked them to stop. The teen told the woman she realized she had caused harm and needed to repair it.
When the woman spotted the same school t-shirts all huddled around a table in the parking lot, she wanted to make sure we heard the story. She didn't want to share the child's name but wanted us to know that she was surprised that the teen took the time to find her to "repair the harm".
This is restorative practices.
In an earlier memo, I shared that Hixson would begin a restorative practices journey. As we start that, I know that there will be lots of questions about what it is and why we are threading it through our school.
In a nutshell, this is what Restorative Practices is:
"Restorative practices are a relational approach to building school climate and addressing student behavior that fosters belonging over exclusion, social engagement over control, and meaningful accountability over punishment." Dr. Marilyn Armour, University of Texas at Austin
What it is:
- PROACTIVE community building for students AND adults
- A means to build EMPHATHY
- A great TEACHING STRATEGY
- A tool for leveraging STUDENT LEADERSHP
What it isn't:
- Behavior management
- A response to misconduct
- An excuse not to suspend
I have seen firsthand what student leadership does to the landscape of a school community and it is truly breathtaking. When we cultivate a space where kids can feel empowered to take risks and advocate for change, we are creating problem solvers...leaders...change agents. As we journey on this year, teachers will teach and push kids academically but we will also help kids find their voices and then sit back and listen to them.
This week, I began going into classrooms during Discovery to lead community building circles. It's a way for me to get to know kids and for them to get to know me. They are quite funny, interesting and kind. I got to hear kids share out about what they believe and started seeing their hearts. I also asked them to start thinking about what their legacy would be at Hixson, our community, city and the world. Your kids are amazing and I look forward to collaborating with them.
I'm going to change up the format of my communication a bit. Instead of a bi-monthly memo, I will communicate weekly. One week I will share out upcoming dates and important information and the next week stories of your kids in action and so on. I realized lumping it into just two memos a month can make for quite a lengthy memo (like this one).
As we shift into a four day weekend, I hope you find time to relax and enjoy the time off together. I look forward to the year and thank you for trusting and sharing your children with us.
With Gratitude,
Grace